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Armageddon in Knoxville? Not Quite

It’s been quite a month for the Tennessee football program.  But despite how it felt, looked, or what you may have heard from Vol Twitter, it wasn’t Armageddon.  With the benefit of hindsight, just about anyone can see that.  But it takes an expert with an in depth knowledge of the subject to recognize the early signs and how the events unfolding never pointed to Armageddon.

Armageddon

  • When they discovered the asteroid, Smart people with math and science established a clear time frame of 18 days and they had a countdown clock.
  • Billy Bob Thornton took charge and established a plan – Bring in the world’s BEST deep core driller, land a shuttle on the asteroid, Drill, and blow the thing up from the inside.
  • He went out and successfully got the world’s BEST deep core driller, Bruce Willis.
  • Bruce Willis is only the best because he works with the best, so he then needed to bring in his team.  Of course, they’re all in.
    • Note: Ben Affleck – best guy on the crew, a young version of Bruce Willis, his protege, practically his son – takes a little more convincing.  He’s banging Bruce’s daughter, Liv Tyler, and no guy wants to have to think about that at work so he may have fired a couple rounds off at Ben.  No one likes being shot so Ben is pretty mad back.  The two make up as Bruce realizes that his daughter isn’t just going around banging random dudes.  She and Ben are actually in love, both strangely fond of animal crackers, and good for each other.
  • Team is assembled.  They train to become astronauts in a week.
  • Successfully execute plan and blow asteroid up from the inside.  Bruce Willis does not survive :(.

Tennessee

  • No established timeline but it took 25 days (and hiring a coach is arguably easier than blowing up an asteroid and all that stuff)
  • Unclear who is in charge.  Unclear if there is an established plan.
  • The BEST isn’t an option because Nick Saban isn’t leaving Alabama to go anywhere, especially, a rival.  So Tennessee pursues several really good realistic choices, two really questionable choices, then a couple more really good ones.  7ish coaches say thanks but no thanks, 1 almost gets hired but thankfully it doesn’t work out.
  • Not going well, so skip ahead – They blow the thing up from the inside.  John Currie doesn’t survive.
  • Restart search and successfully bring in Jeremy Pruitt.  Pruitt is now successfully assembling his team.
    • Saban is to college football what Bruce Willis is to deep core drilling.  Tennessee just hired away his Defensive Coordinator and best assistant.  We basically took his Ben Affleck.

 

One other thing – As a Tennessee fan during this coaching search, watching this scene is just brutal.  We’re trying to get just one person to say “I’m in” and we’re waving $40 million.  Really feels like Bruce Willis is rubbing it in our face making here.

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